Mars Mission Actually Succeeds
Administrators Unsure of What to Do Next
By:
Jake Phillips
For the Quack City Space
Center (QCSC), the usual course of action for a mission to the planet Mars goes
along the same course: plan the mission, build the rocket, watch it crash, go
home. But those plans took an unexpected turn Thursday, when the Mars rover "Futility"
landed without incident on the red planet.
QCSC Flight Control operators share their reaction
to the successful landing Thursday night with Quack's Echo reporter Jake Phillips. |
"I'm shocked beyond my ability to describe" says
QCSC director Sean O'Keefe.. "Frankly, we're not quite sure what to do next."
"Futility" is a 9,000 pound, six wheeled rover that officials
expected would drill mercilessly into the Martian surface, creating another spectacular,
man made, non-radio signal transmitting crater.
"That's
what usually happens. Now we have to figure out what to do with this stupid thing....Man,
and CSI was new tonight, too. I hate missing my shows." said O'Keefe.
The
Center's problems were further compounded when "Who're We Kidding" made
another successful landing later in the week.
"I
don't know who everyone think's we are. We're not a team of superhuman computer
watching automatons. We' didn't think we'd have one rover to keep an eye on, much
less two. If we sent 100 rockets to Mars, I didn't think we'd have 2 to watch
over. I don't know what I'll do now." added O'Keefe.
When
asked about the President's plan to put an astronaut on the surface of the Red
Planet, O'Keefe simply laughed so hard he fell off the stationary bike that replaced
Mission Control's main computer in 1997.
For
now, the plan is to drive the rovers straight into a mountain to see if martian
rock is "as tough as Earth rock." If the rovers continue to function, QCSC plans
to wait and see if any little green men come out and use the rovers as dune buggies
or high-tech skateboards.
